Pre-Qualifacrap

Note: Benefits are not available for commercial weight loss programs; see page 34 for our coverage of nutritional counseling services.) − Pre-operative nutritional assessment and nutritional counseling about pre- and post-operative nutrition, eating, and exercise − Evidence that attempts at weight loss in the 1 year period prior to surgery have been ineffective − Psychological assessment of the member’s ability to understand and adhere to the pre- and post-operative program, performed by a psychiatrist, clinical psychologist, psychiatric social worker, or psychiatric nurse (see page 85 for our payment levels for mental health services) − Patient has not smoked in the 6 months prior to surgery − Patient has not been treated for substance abuse for 1 year prior to surgery Benefits for the surgical treatment of morbid obesity, performed on an inpatient or outpatient basis, are subject to the following pre-surgical requirements: − Diagnosis of morbid obesity (as defined on page 52) for a period of 2 years prior to surgery − Participation in a medically supervised weight loss program, including nutritional counseling, for at least 3 months prior to the date of surgery. (

That is the list straight from my insurance book of everything I had to do before I could even SUBMIT anything to the insurance!  Now, I realize that I need to be grateful that I even have insurance that will cover this and I AM, TOTALLY, but, like I said before, once the decision is made, it's hard to wait.  The truly crappy part about it was that most of this stuff I had already done over the past 20 years but I was not medically documented so it doesn't count. Well, ya gotta do what ya gotta do, so I took the 2nd step (after the initial seminar) and made an appointment with my GP.  We set up a 3 month weight loss plan and he made sure to document every time I came in.  During this time I also saw a dietitian, Amy Cain, who was wonderful and very helpful. She gave me a lot of resources and had me keep a food journal for at least 2 weeks.  I highly recommend this for anyone trying to lose weight, whether you're having surgery or not.  When you write down everything you eat and keep track of calories (there's an app for that!) it really can help you pinpoint some of the problems in your eating habits. So, lets see, we've started the 3 month medically supervised diet, met 3 times with a dietitian, now on to the psyche eval.  THIS I was worried about! If they found out how crazy I was, they probably wouldn't let me do it! Really, I'm not crazy, in fact the shrink told me I was one of the best candidates he'd ever interviewed (not surprising, I always ROCK at interviews!) but, honestly I really was doing this for all the right reasons. Having this surgery will save my life. The end.  I'm not doing it to look hot in a swim suit (with all this skin, that will NEVER happen) and I'm not doing it to improve my self esteem (those of you who know me, know I already think I'm awesome) and I stopped caring a long time ago what people thought of me physically and I love myself. I'm doing this to see my children grow up and have babies of their own. I'm doing it to stop hurting all the time and I'm doing it to give my family the opportunity to learn, from me, the way to become healthy and happy themselves. Long story short, I passed with flying colors and was highly recommended for the surgery! Finally I had everything (except the last month of the medically supervised diet) and could make the appointment with the surgeon! My mom and I went down to St. Marks, had a little class a mini version of the seminar, and then met with Dr. Smith.  He was impressed that I had, at that point, already lost 50 lbs and said he was excited to see my further progress. I was impressed by his bedside manner, most surgeons are cold and indifferent, but Dr. Smith seemed to really listen to my questions and made me feel completely at ease. Yet another sign letting me know I was on the right path. That brings us to 7 weeks ago. Everything was complete (it only took about 4 months of agony) and lovely Paula, the patient advocate at RMAP, was ready to send my file into the insurance! WOOHOO! I was thinking, maybe a week or two and we'd be ready to rock and roll. I was mistaken. 6 weeks later after I called and harassed Blue Cross, I received the phone call from Paula. My heart started to race and all the hairs on my arms stood up, this was IT, it was HAPPENING! 3 hours later I got the phone call to actually schedule the surgery and it was in 2 weeks! It actually could have been sooner but I had stupid training at work and then Dr. Smith was on vacation but it was ok, at least I knew for a FACT that it was happening so the last 2 weeks have pretty much flown by! So, there it is. It's now Saturday, June 18th and my surgery is scheduled for Tuesday the 21st. 3 days away. All this waiting and now it seems to be going in high speed. I am ready. Bring it.

Hitting the wall.

395 lbs. Wow. Just say that. Three hundred and ninety five pounds. Can you even wrap your head around it? No, cuz it's freakin 395 pounds! You can't wrap ANYTHING around THAT! It was last summer, 2010 when my little 5 year old Hannah asked me if I would help her learn to ride a bike without training wheels. Holy cow! My baby was growing up! I was ecstatic. Daddy and I bought the bike, helmet, pads, ALL the gear and she was ready. I steadied her and counted 1, 2, 3 and let her go. She immediately fell over. "You have to run with me and hold the back of the seat mommy", she said with a "duh" tone to her voice. Run. Uh, really? Wall, Jenni, collision. I was too fat to teach my baby girl how to ride a bike. My heart died a little that day. I sunk into a pretty deep depression for awhile after that. Not only did I have the weight of the situation on my shoulders I LITERALLY had the WEIGHT of the situation on my shoulders.  With the depression came the pain. Not emotional, although there was plenty of that, but physical pain.  When you weigh that much, everything hurts, EVERYTHING. It's tiring to even get out of bed. I would become breathless getting dressed and sweating before I even left the house for work. Shortly after that I was diagnosed with sleep apnea. Sleep apnea, for those of you who are not familiar with the disease, is where your airway becomes blocked (usually by fat) and you basically stop breathing during sleep. Fabulous. So now, I weigh 395 lbs, I am depressed, I hurt EVERYWHERE, and I get to sleep with a sexy machine strapped to my face to help me breathe! All this, and the voice inside my head telling me, "you chose this Jen, you totally chose this."
Well, bite me, little voice! I'm done. I started to tear down that wall, brick by brick.
In 2004, after 5 years of trying to get pregnant, I had decided that if I was not with child by the end of the year, I was going to have Gastric Bypass surgery. 12 months later Hannah was born. It was not the right time for the surgery, that became evident. Fast forward 7 years and two children and probably 100 lbs to July 2010, the time had come to revisit the idea.

The reality of the situation..

So, last time, we discussed the "f" word, the genetic curse and, of course, the fact that my brother Nic is not tall. Today I want to get to the heart of the matter. Whining about genetics can only get you through, oh, say about high school. After that, when you truly have control over what goes in to your body it becomes YOUR FAULT. The truth is that I, Jenni, being of sound mind and somewhat chubbified body, CHOSE to eat the things that made that genetic tendency spiral completely out of control. It was I who drank almost 2, yes TWO 2 liters of coke a day, had bags of mini candy bars in my drawer at work. Water? what is THAT? Vegies? I don't think so. Can you see the pattern??? Not only was it MY CHOICE to eat whatever tasted delicious, but it was also my choice to sit my (here comes that "f" word again) FAT butt on the couch, or my chair at work and consume, consume, consume. So one might look at me and ask, "how did this happen?" well, the reality of the situation is, I chose it. Plain and simple.

Now comes the happy ending, the stuff fairytales are made of.... I can CHOOSE to end this heavy lifestyle and start anew! Isn't that fantastic!? It's like that kiss from the handsome prince that makes it possible to beckon every little forest animal with a single song, it's like... magic. Ok, ok it's totally NOT going to be magic, it's going to be the hardest journey of my life, but when it's all said and done, I KNOW I will have that fairytale ending because I will have Chosen it MYSELF!

In the beginning...

In the beginning, God created... me, and although he created me with many wonderful atributes, he, along with my parents, gave me "the gene". Now, you all know what "gene" I'm talking about so don't pretend like you don't. We've all heard the terms, "pleasantly plump" "curvy" "husky" and my all time favorite, "big boned" but, honestly, lets just call a spaid and spaid and use the "f" word! Yep, you got it, FAT. I have been fat pretty much my whole life. I am the oldest of 5 children and, somehow, was the only lucky one in the bunch to inherit this genetic family curse. My three wirey brothers are tall (well, except for Nic, but he got all the brains so it doesnt matter) thin, and excedingly handsome. My little sister, although not a bean pole, has the body of a goddess with curves in all the right places. I, on the other hand, look like a weeble-wobble with a moon face, tree stumps for legs and a winning smile! To compensate for my outward appearance I did what all fat kids do and became "the funny one with the wonderful personality". This is fine, and in the grand scheme of things it's a much better quality to have, but growing up would have been a heck of a lot easier if I had just been thin. Looking back, I am grateful for the trials I had and I know I truly did become the person I am today because of them and I know God doesn't give us more then we can handle and he knew I was awesome, even if at the time, I didn't. I love my brothers and sister and what I love most is that, despite having a fat sister, they have always stuck up for me, supported me and, of course, always made me laugh at myself and for that, I am forever grateful to all of them. So, with that little glimpse into the past we can now venture forward in the journey.